Why does my child or teen lie even when I already know the truth?

Lying can be an attempt to avoid punishment, disappointment, or embarrassment. It does not, by itself, prove that a child has no conscience. Understanding what they are trying to avoid can help you respond without excusing the dishonesty. HealthyChildren.org

State what you know calmly and focus on honesty and repair. Try, “I know the assignment wasn’t turned in. Let’s talk about what happened and what needs to happen next.”

Model honesty yourself and avoid making the conversation primarily about humiliation or catching them out. Repeated lying that causes significant problems—or occurs alongside other concerning behavior—may benefit from professional assessment. HealthyChildren.org

I make room for honest conversations about choices and their consequences without treating a mistake as the whole story of who a young person is. Learn about my approach to working with children and teens or explore support for emotional regulation.